Here are a few things that I believed as a child that proves the point above.
1. A blanket can protect you…
As a child I would never put so much as a toe outside my blanket for fear of a monster/deranged maniac cutting it off! At night the blanket would become the most protective material known to man. Had a monster/deranged manic ever entered my room late at night, sorely disappointed they would be.
“To unpathed waters, undreamed shores”. It’s a quote that quite literally sticks with me always. I had the words tattooed onto my chest because I felt that I was quite often turning down offers that I shouldn’t have, simply because I thought I wasn’t good enough or because I may fail.
As a self confessed geek, I not only love technology but also crave its futuristic loveliness. Oh yes there’s nothing better than a bit of sexy new tech. That is of course unless it’s not full of loveliness and looks like it just took a nose dive from whatever the electronic version of an ugly tree might be, hitting every algorithm on the way down.
When I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation as a child, I longed to use the gadgets they had at their disposal. The computer you could carry around with you (now invented as the iPad) the voice activated helper (installed now on every new iPhone in the form of Siri) or the teleportation device that could take you anywhere in an instant. Ok so we’re still waiting on that one; unless of course you count an elevator as an early precursor, which you shouldn’t as it’s a rubbish comparison since they can’t even go sideways!
At around 4.10am this morning, for a good 2 minutes, I was convinced that someone or something was trying to kill me. The sound came out of nowhere waking me from my sleep, emanating from the roof directly above me. What ever it was it meant only one thing, I was moments from death.
That was of course before I’d fully woken. It’s true to say I was startled and did spend a good five minutes after the noise occurred trying to re-locate my heart and put in back safe within my chest. But I soon realised that I was not under attack.
Remember the days when Facebook was new and exciting. When your friends at least tried to make their statuses funny. When you knew every single one of your Facebook friends and how you met them. The days before your mum signed up. Those where the good old days. Facebook now has over 845 million active users signed up to its service. I’m one of them but if I’m honest I no longer want to be.
I’m fed up with it and it seems I’m not in the minority. That said those of us that can openly admit our dislike for Facebook still agree one thing, we can’t give it up! It’s an addiction. Seeing into people’s lives by way of status updates, drunken pictures from the work nights out and just having a record of our own lives to look back on is just too damn appealing.
Do you ever have that feeling that you just need to get away. That urge to just drop everything and go somewhere, do something you’ve never done before. I do. There’s a list of places I’d love to visit, Japan, America, Australia amongst others but it doesn’t even have to be that far, a trip to France would be nice. It would be nice if it wasn’t for all the French people who live there spoiling the place.
I keep coming back to the idea that I might be having a mid-life crisis but at just 26 I’m cutting my life extremely short by suggesting I’m already at the halfway point. If it is a mid-life crisis it seems only to be manifesting itself in the need to get away, so far I’ve managed to avoid any urges to buy a sports car. Quite the opposite, I’ve just downgraded from a car so addicted to petrol I was considering sending it to the Betty Ford clinic, to a much more sensible Peugeot.
‘Draw Something’, the mobile phone game, seems to have become as addictive as oxygen – You might argue that oxygen isn’t addictive but just you try giving it up!
It’s the latest in a line of games to have taken to the hearts of those that can’t put their phones down for more than five minutes. It’s so popular that when I tried to sign up it took a good 5 minutes of typing and re typing username after username before I found one that wasn’t already taken, Bigtitballs. That’s my username, not some new swear word I’ve just made up.
I awoke at around 9am after a well deserved lie in, opened up the cover to my iPad and proceeded to be an April fool not once but twice in the space of 3 minutes. I really don’t like April fool’s day, why? I’ll tell you.
I, UnremarkableMe, am too gullible to ever survive the morning of April first without succumbing to someone’s idea of a funny story. I’d like to think I was a pretty intelligent guy but clearly intelligent doesn’t mean I’m not easily led. Maybe I’m just too trusting, willing to believe the lies that people tell me. I’d make a rubbish judge and not only because I’d look ridicules in those wigs they have to wear here in the UK.